Tuesday, 24 November 2015


I have love many people in this life. I dont know how to love widely but I love deeply. And once in love, it is a mad love.

Ive got to say how much I am disappointed with my own self for not knowing to give back what has been due for them. Simple things like texting them after a missed call. Haha.. And she waits until 2 weeks for me to reply, still not yet and then she makes her first step.

These people.. are precious. More than anything. Is this feeling of appreciation of them an act of selfishness? Maybe, I like them because they are amazing people and their kindness are super great. To be able to be just beside them gives that good feeling. Your fall in love with every single thing they do and say. I know I should, give them my adequate love in return.

Sometimes, I dont even know I mean so much to them, until proly too late.

Friday, 13 November 2015

Ive gave up on many things in life. It is called moving on or growing up, to some.

Ive taken a journey very peculiar to the eyes of many if told, especially if ever told to a mom. But I've got to take my own journey, to make mistake if this journey is a mistake, and to learn from that.

Ive used less the word "hope". The leap of faith taken by the little me.

Ive grown up from caring everything around except my own self, to care nothing but my own self.

Some does no manage to survive this world.
Im tired of living. exhausted from smoking too much hope. already lying dead few times on the floor from drinking too many bunkers of alcoholic boost to stay high doing hardwork..

Fail social time, trying hard to fit in, talk about useless stuff im not even interested in just to keep the conversation going with new frienss, or even the repetitive talks with long hauled best friends about same topic.

im tired of typing "how is it done" keywords in the google search to solve my problems, or asking people for their opinions because asking makes you look weak. i dont want to make super impression to people, just to to be able to make conversation with them.

im tired of thinking how to fit in with you guys , get myself updated with gossips i dont even care. or being observant to peoples behavious and talk, to pick up good ways people socialised nowadays.

im tired man,.. tired of doing things, because none matters to me anymore. once they were too meaningful to me, just  need a single or twice chances to snap my dream off me like that cruel and crude. nothing has meaning to me no more.

where do i go from here.