Thursday, 29 August 2013

Paroxysm.


It was a turbulence. Violent shot. Deep wound. It heals but leaves a scar. Although sometimes, the wound will open. But dear me, it is just what real life is. Through misery, we learn to appreciate. We learn to see. We learn to be wise. Increasing in ages, would only mean ur wisdom should as be as much as the figure of the years.
I seek life. And i seek to learn.

Life has brought me to meet a lot of people. Knowing them. Getting close to them. And know we share many common things. I find what feelings are. Identify them with many people. As the say goes, only those who feel will understand.

So many people have dreams. I just learn how risky it is – to dream. No one ever told me before though. Because they think it is a risk worth taking.

 Your heart. The one that you now feel it’s beats. That pumps your blood through your circulatory system, providing your body oxygen to keep living. Yes. That heart.  Your are putting it on the bet.

My heart was broken. When i built my dream, I dont know the risk ( or rather i thought my dream has no risk). But now, i know it well. Previously,  I reached a point that i even said : it’s better not to dream. Just live on your life. Go by the flow. And just let the fate lead you. Better indeed than being punch hard right on the chest when you know what you have dream of is nothing but pieces of shattered glasses.

I dragged heavily my heart along through the fated journey. I tried hard to comprehend every bit of the designated path i was compelled to take.

It was so painful to swallow in the too much information of reality i was sought to understand.

A few months have passed. And almost like our immune system, after a few period of times, we would be more resistent to the hardships (or pathogens) that infect our lives (or body). We start to accept. And much more comprehendly, know that there are a few things in life that cannot be explained. Fate is controlled by God. Only Him, who has the infinity of knowledges and bounties, would know why it happens and why should it be that way.

I proposedly write this post to let everyone who suffers from heartache to know, you are not alone going through all this. I know how it feels. And how severely injured your heart is. I wish i could be there to share the mutual feeling. But more to it is that, you have to be strong to get up back.

After a strike of fall, take the sword and stand up back again.

The heartaches. There would be more of these in lives. But like what my dad says : jadi orang yang berhati besar.

Take a break for some moments, and then let’s move on.  

And maybe,
Through your route towards redemption, you will find people who mean you the most in life.

Sunday, 7 April 2013

Nota Pendek

Untuk diriku masa depan, dan mungkin kau juga.. :


Aku yakin, sepertimana kau juga tahu bahawa kanvas kehidupan tidak pernah luntur daripada cabaran, kita akan terus menerus diduga dan diuji.

Ramai yang tidak betah. Hanyut dibawa arus yang mengalir laju. Tak berjaya mudik ke hulu sungai. 

Justeru, kenapa tidak mungkin kita juga, menjadi mangsa seterusnya? 

Air tidak pernah tenang, kawan. percayalah kataku! 
asimilasi perlu berlaku. adaptasi juga penting.
memodenkan diri menuruti arus pascamerdeka kita ini.
dunia semakin global.
ilmu bertambah luas - petik jari saja kata orang
perihal sosialisasi dan kebudayaan berkembang.

semuanya terbuka.
tersangat lapang.

seperti langit, Maha Kuasa Tuhan, ciptaan Dia.

tapi sayang, ceritera dunia ini berlaku..

..sehingga
 akal dan wahyu tiada timbang taranya lagi.

mungkin suatu hari nanti, kau akan tersesak lagi dalam udara ini.
Udara yang membuatkan kau semput, sukar bernafas. sehingga jantung, punca hati dan iman, tidak lagi mampu mendesak badan tidak berbuat keburukan.
Fikiran juga, dek kekurangan oksigen, tidak kuasa membuat pilihan yang benar.

Ujian akan terus berkunjung di daerah manusia,
seperti gulungan ombak yang tidak pernah henti-henti menghentam pasir pantai.

dan kita?

biarlah menjadi pokok hujan-hujan yang merimbun.
batangnya tegap.
akarnya banir.
dedaunnya menghimpun teduh.

 berterusan membesar dan matang
biarpun kedudukannya tetap. tidak pernah berubah-ubah.

itu pokok. 
apatah lagi kita bukan?