When I go surfing the net, or have a good, nice talk with dad or mom or teachers or do my readings, it just that I know that the real life is out there is far more dangerous than I know it is. It's more about my veils and clothes or my prays or deeds, I know in the real world out there I will be questioned about my aqidah from various types of people who claim to know Islam, but definitely the different way I thought it is. Yes, I am talking about the sufism, tareekah, shi'ite, feminism, secularism atheism etc.Even when it comes to Ahli Sunnah wal Jamaah, I know there's always the khalaf and salaf, who some of them always claim to be more righteous than the others.
And when it comes about da'wah, there's some people who thing da'wah is always about sacrificing every thing of own including schools and studying, while some people think it is enough to talk good and close to everybody as it is a form of da'wah (as being claimed by that people) - thought it doesn't seem to have much impact; but at least better doing something than nothing.
Sometimes, we really get confuse of what really is. Everything usually has its contradict point. And the headache comes when both party claim to be rightful and saying that other party is wrong. Then, we don't know what to choose.
Ironically, sometimes, even when talking about a simple thing like clothing; thousands of people understand it in thousands ways, though that thousands of people are referring themselves as people who know what Islam is.
Well, I guess I take that up as a khilaf, though I still need to understand what is the preference of the Quran and Hadith and take that up as my strongly-held stance.
I would love to be out of the school as soon as possible, though I know I will miss my school days so much. But the thought of meeting different types of people who have different types of faiths and stances, yet they are trying to get people pulled into their views, is something that somehow scared me every now and then. Because the fact that I know I haven't yet equipped myself with vast of knowledge to have a debate or simply a talk with them who argued about my faith.
Now, I'm going to say this phrase to myself : I have yet a long, long way to go. Mada mada dane.
Sometimes, I wonder with great excitement of how my life would be in the future. =)
But I still pray, as it scares me too sometimes, that, Please dear Allah, take care of my aqidah.
Out of the school, to the universities (slightly almost the real world) , then to the real, real world.
May Allah protects us from evils from within ourselves and the world.