Saturday, 31 December 2011

Well, choices, they're complicated

When you live, uh, you can't expect a perfect life.

That's life.

Duh, am I trying to be a philosopher? Nope, I ain't. But just wondering how life has driven me to be what I am today. All the things that Allah has fated me to go through. Sometimes, you've never expected to have actually survive the killing obstacles. Like when I was in year six, was just going to be sitting on the examination few weeks later, I was 'guarding' the stairs to not allow pupils entering their classes during recess time, I accidentally hit someone's eye and had it oozing with blood. Oh. Alhamdulillah. 
Never expect to not be jailed or sued.

Since I was in year five I had wished so much to be smai. But never got the offer. And every time my mother and I visited her friend's house somewhere in KB, we would passed by smai. And my eyes would be glistening with tears and my heart would be whispering : why couldn't I be in there?

And, today, I am in the school, have survived and struggled more than I thought I could have. 

--I learnt much. 

And still know that I need to learn much more.

In life, there are so many times that you learn and realise that you are not a good muslim. Not even close. The things you could only have done is trying to improve oneself and hope for the best that, oh Allah, bestow mercy to your servant! Help me to survive this life and the hereafter!

--Seeing, hearing, knowing how many people had got better than you, you would wish to actually be better.

But no, you aren't.

Even how much you are trying. (Er.. maybe not quite enough)

I just hope people don't expect me to be perfect as no human is. I loathe being expected. Because through life experiences, I have learnt that I have always let people down. And to know how many people have been in dismay because of us, is not a good feeling, is it?

--Through life, we have made tremendous choices. Every day we pick options. Every step we take is all something we have decided to do. It might be a right choice or might be the worst. We could only hope that we have made the best choices and may Allah has show us the light to the righteous path.

Life varies from one person to the other. The path drawn is completely different. That explains why sometimes our choices totally cannot be understood by people.

Oh, how I have diverted from the truth. You don't live for people. It's for Allah. We live for His sake. 
And ONLY for Allah's sake.

And how in life we forget to zikr, remembering Him in every breath.

Oh, may You Allah, help us to be with you in every second of life.

Lead our choices to be the best and wisest decision taken, with the guidance of you Kalamullah and the sunnah of Your Apostle pbuh.

And may Allah put His blessing upon us.

And may we be among muslimin and mukminin who submit their wills only to Allah swt.

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