Tuesday, 26 September 2017

Pre-elective post #1

I will be writing on 3 substantial point of view in this journey
1. medical experience in Royal Hospital London
2. the exploration of UK history, politics, and social being
3. improvising my literature thru readings and writing

and, to wrap all that, I will write on my personal development

Saturday, 23 September 2017

An old acquaintance. Vanessa Eunice Scully. She was once the person I sat beside when we were to receive award for Penang state high school writing competition. It was one of the first few rare glimpse I got into the world beyond my agama school and its ambiance.

As per 6-7 years forward, she is a law student in a same university, so-called prestigious in this nation. I saw today her post in social media bout how ferocious she is towards those using her profile pic and name to duplicate her identity in a campaign against Bersih and the opposition coalition. Although, it has gone without saying that there are a huge sum of similar duplication for the same purpose happening for any other persons.

From this, I am made aware of the part of my dream that lied in my subconscious mind. These few years have been mundane with no purposeless direction like a headless chicken.

I have always wanted to test my courage, my bravery. I have, in my personal record, achieve certain level of courage in being open to discuss controversial ideas, or being vocal about opinions. But I have yet to test my voice to speak on important issues matter to the world and society, or especially to the muslims of the world in which I hold my heart closely dear so.

I have always wanted to write so elegantly, in a posh English. Not because I kisses the ass of the aristocrats or the elitist, but rather it sounds so beautiful and enchanting especially towards the asymptotic perfectionism of its choice of use.

I wish to step out of my current world to this world I wonder. But it seems the walls are built higher every day.

Monday, 21 November 2016

if i were to wish for a dream come true. i just wanna board the flight on and off very occasionally, visiting all those countries i heard from afar, from the movies i watched, from the books i read, from the girlish dreams i have.

i want that moment with a person or maybe triple or quadruple of people i have fallen in love with their company, to have deep talks while watching the sunset from the old buildings with all its historical stories, and telling jokes and teases each other until we are all teary and stomach pain from all the out-loud laughing we have.

i want that dream i used to dream of so badly. to be in a foreign land to learn its civilisation, culture and past. to be the one who witness the every day life of those european people that we in the far away land have been admiring, either for the good reason and rotten one.

this dream, has given me all the agony in the world. and i still wonder until this date of when the world will start to notice that i deserve to receive this gift that much.

i dont admire european alone. altho of course, it is more appealing for most people including me because european likes to exhibits their lavishness and some poshness in the culture that they promote to us.  I hav also been wishing for a budget travelling with my dad in the land of the prophets. where we both know arabic very well, can communicated with them well enuf to not be cheated upon when making businesses. i wanted to travel by his side and to listen to all his stories of the cities and the desserts. because nothing is the the calm music to my ear (literally) other than to listen to his tots and opinions, and then noticing of how little time i have with this man, and how little have i given to this man.

Monday, 25 July 2016

Rul Mber Wan :


So if you feel like wanna do somethinggg.. do it IMMEDIATELY! HHA. No postpone.
Uh-HUH, Even toilet break doesnt count.

Sunday, 22 May 2016

eventually, i am that no one.
(READ : eventually means - akhirnya, towards the end of a story)
 i lie if i dont worry about him finding someone who are more someone, who may have deserved him better.

but im greedy, i wont let him go

Friday, 20 May 2016

today i realise that people might not understand the term i used, or the words that i would mean. not because i didnt make it coherent.
but rather, those the meanings behind those words might mean differently to them that what it mean to me.
like " being bold enough to invite speaker."
to me it would mean bein g bold enough to invite speakers that are outstandingly good and different ideas. rather than being just a good presenter or sth.

Saturday, 14 May 2016

I want you to pray for me.
to have that strength to pursue greatness

this is for my own soul

not for names.